


Finally you see me

by Vault_Emblem



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Carver Centric, Gen, Introspection, i've used neutral pronouns for hawke so they can be any gender you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 12:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13951665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vault_Emblem/pseuds/Vault_Emblem
Summary: I don't think I'll ever be over Carver Hawke.Also if you're here to comment with hate on this good boy you can kindly go fuck yourself and not comment at all. Thanks.





	Finally you see me

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think I'll ever be over Carver Hawke.  
> Also if you're here to comment with hate on this good boy you can kindly go fuck yourself and not comment at all. Thanks.

As things couldn’t be worse. Carver can’t help but to be angry at himself.

Why did he have to get sick now? They’re in the Deep Roads for fuck’s sake!

He can already hear the others mocking him for in his head, and he does his best to keep up with the group.

He really doesn’t want them to notice; he can deal with them in his head, but if they actually said something to him, he knows he won’t be able to do anything about it. After all he’s alone against everyone else.

 

It’s in moments like this that he misses Bethany.

Well, he always misses her – he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forgive himself for letting her die – but now he misses her more than ever.

 

In the end, it hasn’t changed much, hasn’t it?

Before he was Bethany’s twin and Hawke’s brother, not he’s just Hawke’s brother.

Nobody acknowledges him anyways.

 

 

He suddenly feels weak – even more than before – and he falls on the ground.

It happens so quickly that he doesn’t even have the time to register it.

 

Mmh… weird.

It’s like Hawke’s calling after him.

 

He feels a couple of strong arms turning him around and lifting his back – he can’t move for the life of him – and Carver sees Hawke.

He can barely register what they’re saying for a moment, but he’s too numb to panic about it.

 

He doesn’t remember ever seeing Hawke so in distress for him, or maybe his mind is too clouded to remember.

He would try to reassure them, but in the end what could some empty words do? He knows he’s dying and there’s nothing they can do about it.

 

After so much time he’s found something not even Hawke can do.

Eh. If Carver was in better condition he would’ve laughed at the irony.

 

He knew that was a possibility when he chose to come with Hawke – or better, when Hawke decided to bring him with them, but still he’d already made up his mind long before that – but to think that it would really happen…

 

 

Maybe it’s what he deserves.

 

He’s failed everybody: his kingdom at Ostagar, Bethany, his mother, Hawke, his friends.

What will mom say when Hawke will come back alone? Will she miss him? Will anyone miss him?

He feels like some of the people he’s been fighting alongside with don’t even know his name.

 

 

There’s something comforting in being held like this by his sibling, though, and sure Carver still feels scared shitless, but also…

The way Hawke’s looking at him. It’s like they’re really _seeing_ him.

 

That usually doesn’t happen. Actually, it never happens. Yeah, they look at him often, but they don’t really see him.

To say that it made him feel even more excluded would be an understatement, but at that point Carver’s used to it. That doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt every time it happened, but what could he have done? It’s not like there was someone he could talk to about this.

 

Bethany’s dead.

The only person who always had time for him, his other half, is dead, has been for some time.

From that moment he’s been alone, unseen by everyone.

He wasn’t Carver anymore, but only Hawke’s shadow.

 

But now Hawke's really looking at him, and even though Carver’s dying, he feels accomplished. He just wishes it would’ve happened sooner, but in the end it’s his fault, isn’t it?

Maybe if he hadn’t been such an ass, things would’ve been different now.

 

This is what he gets for being a failure.

 

 

His conscience is fading away. He won’t wake up anymore.

Hawke’s still holding him, but they can’t do anything to stop what’s happening in front of them.

Soon Carver will join Bethany, and they will be together again. Maybe he’ll find dad too.

 

I’m sorry you’ll be alone, Carver wants to say, but he doesn’t have any energy left for it.

It doesn’t matter; Hawke won’t be really alone. With so many people around them, what difference will it make if he’s gone?

 

Still, it looks like he does matter a little to Hawke.

 

 

And this is how Carver Hawke passes away, cradled by his sibling in the Deep Roads.

The last thing he sees it’s their eyes, and they’re looking at him.

How sad it is that the moment he feels most accomplished is in his death.


End file.
